Just For Sidekicks/Games Ponies Play mashup P4

(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the castle, its spire framed by the brilliant midday sun. Cut to a broad corridor inside as Twilight and company lead Ms. P in; her suitcase has been put away.)

Ms. P: (breathlessly) My golly, the Crystal Castle! Why, I’ve seen pictures, but I never expected to see it with my very own eyes! (Gulps) From the…inside…

(The 5 pegasus ponies.)

Fluttershy: (smiling) Oh my gosh! She’s so nice!

Rainbow: You’re letting her lull you into a false sense of confidence.  Watch that. It’s all part of the game.

Peter Sam: I don't think that this pony is the pony that we make out to be.

Rainbow Dash: Chill Peter Sam. This mare is just playing with our heads.

Rachel/Song Cue: I don't know, Dash. Peter Sam seems to be onto something.

Ms. P: Oh, my. I’m so excited.

Twilight: (gesturing to a couch) Please have a seat, won’t you?

Ms. P: Mind if I take a quick run outside first? It was an awfully long train ride, and my legs could use a stretch.

Twilight: Oh! Well, we were just about to start.

Duke: Yes, even if a few of our friends are absent right now, I think we can still pull this off.

Ms. P: Oh! Never you mind. You go on ahead. I’m listenin’.

Rainbow: (softly, to Fluttershy) She was probably testing us to see if we could remain in control of a complex situation. Looks like we passed. (They slap hooves.) Bump…

Fluttershy: …cha! (Down they go.)

Twilight: We’d like to thank you for this opportunity to introduce you to this wonderful kingdom.

Ms. P: (gasping softly) Oh, why, the pleasure is all mine.

Twilight: And since we’re not even from here ourselves, who better than us to let you know just how welcoming this place can be? Not to mention that some of our friends are from a different world altogether, and we are proud to have them here.

Skarloey: Heh, thanks Twilight.

(Just as in the rehearsal on the train, Applejack, Pinkie, Skarloey and Rheanes leap onto a clear section of floor, landing side by side and raising their inner forelegs. Twilight and Duke teleports onto them, Rachel/Song Cue also jumps in, and Fluttershy, Rainbow, Peter Sam and Duncan balance on their heads.)

All eleven:        Two, four, six, eight!
               Name a place that’s really great!

(Ground level; Twilight walks point, the others falling in behind her for a V formation and peeling off to both sides.)

               One, two, three, four!
               And keeps you coming back for more!

(The screen has now blacked out due to her close approach; from here, snap to a head-on view of her. All eleven are marching single file; Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie, Skarloey, Rheanes and Duke fall out to alternate sides, and Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rachel/Song Cue, Peter Sam and Duncan fly up behind them, Dash leaving rainbow contrails around the others.)

               Two, seven, nine, three!
               The place that we all want to be!

(Cut to Ms. P, enjoying the show; they continue o.s.)

               Four, three, two, one!

(Long shot of the atrium; Rainbow’s flight traces out a giant heart around her ten friends. They have stacked up with the other ponies balanced on top of each other.)

               The Crystal Empire, that’s the one!

(Pinkie whips out her party cannon and fires off a burst of streamers and confetti, scaring the rest of the tower off its collective hooves.)

Ms. P: Whoo! Yeah!

(She jumps onto the couch’s armrest and lets off an enthusiastic whistle; cut to all but the pegasi, tumbled on the floor, all well and truly worn out from this show. She jumps down to them.)

Ms. P: Oh! I tell you, I have traveled far and wide but I have never, ever been welcomed anyplace in the fashion that y’all have done here today!

Twilight: That’s fantastic! Princess Cadence would be so glad to hear that!

Ms. P: (a bit surprised) Honestly, I’m surprised she knows anything about me at all.

Skarloey: Oh, well Miss, perhaps your not...

(But before the oldest of the Skarloey ponies could continue.)

Twilight: Of course she does. She’s been looking forward to your visit for weeks.

Ms. P: (laughing) Oh, goody! Is she here?

Twilight: Uh…

Rheanes: Well, she's uh... Any ideas, guys?

Applejack: (aside, to Twilight) Where the heck is she, anyway? Wasn’t she supposed to be here by now?

Ms. P: Oh, that’s all right. Maybe… I-I-I’ll just take my little run outside now.

(She runs outside to the balcony with the main 6 close behind.)

Rachel/Song Cue: Well, I didn't expect that either.

Duke: I swear, there's something fishy going on that we have the wrong pony, but I just can't place it.

Duncan: No kidding. (Sees the main 6 gone) Hey, wait for us girls!

(The Skarloey ponies head to the balcony, the pegasus ponies flying above it to give the earth ponies and unicorns room.)

Rainbow: Or…if you like… we could give you a tour of the castle! That way, you could be learning and stretching, all at the same time.

Ms. P: Ohhhh, a tour of the Crystal Castle! I’d love that a whole heap.

Duncan: (Under breath) Rainbow, what have you gotten us into now?

Twilight: (aside, to Rainbow) Dash, we’ve hardly ever even been here before!

Rainbow: (aside, to Twilight) It’s just another test. We gotta roll with it, remember?

Pinkie: Ooh! (she hops excitedly.) Let me give the tour! I’ll do it, I’ll do it! Let me, let me, let me!

Rachel/Song Cue: I don't think that's going to work.

Twilight: Fine. (trotting in) You all start giving her the tour, and I’ll go see what’s keeping Cadence.

Duke: I'll tag along with you. Skarloey, Rheanes, keep everyone under control until I get back.

Skarloey and Rheanes: Got it.

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, I want you to also keep things flowing until we return.

Applejack: Right, ya can count on us.

(Duke and Twilight make their way down the stair case.)

Twilight: Hello there!

Ms. H: (sourly) Hello yourself. (to herself) First hello of the day.

Duke: (Stops walking, to self) Hmm. Who's that I wonder.

Twilight: (Uses her magic to pull Duke's tail.) Come on! We have to get Cadence.

Duke: Hey! I'm used to pulling rolling stock on the railway, but not being pulled by the tail.

Twilight: Oh, sorry Duke. Forgot the breathing technic.

Duke: I'm just glad Sir Handel, Peter Sam and Rachel didn't see that. You know what my grandsons are like and Rachel would probably start laughing because Peter Sam finds it funny.

(The continued down, not seeing Ms. H getting splashed with water.)

(At the spa.)

Duke: Hello Rarity, Sir Handel.

Sir Handel: Oh! Twilight, Granpuff, didn't expect you to be here so quickly.

Rarity: Wh-What are you doing here?

Twilight: We finished the welcome committee song and we just wanted to introduce Ms. Harshwhinny to—

Rarity: No, no! Princess Cadence isn’t ready. (whispering) Something’s gone terribly wrong.

Twilight: We need to speak to the Princess.

Rarity: (flailing forelegs) You can’t! You mustn’t! She’s in the middle of a delicate conditioning rinse that must go perfectly if there’s to be any hope for her hair.

Twilight: Come on. How bad could it be?

Duke: I'm sure it's just one small hiccup.

Rarity: (magically fluffing Twilight’s mane in all directions) Imagine her mane turned into a porcupine.

Twilight: Ewww. (It falls back.)

Sir Handel: Rarity was in full on drama queen mode for 5 minutes when she saw it, and I have a hard time trying to calm her.

Rarity: (moaning, turning/pushing Twilight and Duke out) Please! We will bring her back from the brink of tragedy, but you have got to buy us some time! There’s no other way!

(Slams the door.)

Duke: O...k, looks like I was wrong about it being a small mistake.

Twilight: Let's head back quickly.

Pinkie: So, you see this here?

Pinkie: (thinking fast, crossing floor) This, um…this is, um…a big, round room! It’s known for its roundness and bigness! And did I mention that it’s… round?

Skarloey: Pinkie, I don't think that...

Ms. P: I think they call it a rotunda. A small, confining rotunda!

Pinkie: Whatever! Round is round, am I right?

Applejack: (aside) Easy, Pinkie! Let’s play this safe. We got her in a good mood, so let’s not do anythin’ to ruin that.

Rheanes: That was... Awkward.

Duncan: Yeah, let's be totally honest here, Pinkie isn't a good tour guide.

Rachel/Song Cue: Maybe you should have been the one to get the element of honesty instead of AJ, Duncan.

Applejack: In this case, I have to agree with you Rach.

Ms. P: (a bit on edge) You know… I love this sort of architecture. I-I-I detect a neo-Gothic inspiration in the design, yes?

Rheanes: Yes, I think that's correct.

Skarloey: The Crystal ponies have done a great job with that, I must say.

Pinkie: Hey! (pointing to herself) L-Look at me!

(She launches into a string of silly faces that earns a round of disapproving looks, topped off by Rainbow clapping a hoof to her own face. A door swings open to admit Twilight and Duke into the atrium.)

Applejack: (sighing) And not a moment too soon. Where’s Cadence? Please tell me she’s right behind you.

Duke: No Applejack, she's not.

Skarloey: What's the problem?

Twilight: There’s a bit of a problem with her headdress. How’s it going here?

Pinkie: (hopping from side to side) Boingy, boingy, boingy! (More facial contortion and disbelieving stares.)

Peter Sam: (Sighs) Not too well.

Ms. P: I, uh …hate to be a bother… but the legs are crampin’ up on me with all this standin’ around.

Rainbow: Huh?

Twilight: (aside, to her) She’s getting bored. And we have to buy Rarity some more time. (Quick breathing exercise; calmed, she trots for the door.) I’ll see if Shining Armor can come help. Can’t one of you other ponies take over in the meantime? Come on Duke.

Duke: We will be about... 3 minutes.

(Out they go.)

Rainbow: I got this. Want to stretch your legs, huh? Well, whatever you need, I’m sure we can provide. Let’s just make our way to the castle’s gymnasium.

Duncan: (To Rainbow, under breath) Does this place even have a gymnasium?

Rainbow Dash: (Under breath) Not sure. We just have to roll with it remember?

(She flies out, the others following; cut to the adjoining corridor as she emerges.)

Rainbow: Our tour will now be headed…

(Hesitates, then finds a random door.)

Rainbow: …this way. (She floats up and beckons the others on.) And we’re walking, and we’re walking…

Rachel/Song Cue: I don't know about this.

(Several ponies stand on the track as another watches from the infield. Close-up: the one on the grass is Shining Armor, wearing a red baseball cap and a whistle on a lanyard around his neck. He sternly eyes the others, dressed out in running gear and stretching, talking, drinking water—coach and team. He looks off to one side and smiles.)

Shining: Twilie! And Duke, too.

(Both ponies walked over to him.)

Twilight: Hello there! Shining Armor, you’ve gotta help us.

(A blast from his whistle sets the athletes galloping around the track.)

Shining: Everything okay? (Close-up of her.)

Duke: Well Shining, not exactly.

Twilight: We left the other ponies and ponyfied engines behind, giving the Games inspector the worst castle tour ever.

Shining: (yelling) Come on, gang!

(Twilight and Duke wince a bit at the sudden volume jump)

Shining: Are we gonna gallop, or are we gonna trot?

(He smiles and addresses them again at normal speaking volume.)

Shining: Castle tour, huh? I’m pretty sure I can give you a hoof with that. (yelling to team) Let’s move, move, move! (normal volume, to Twilight and Duke) Everything’s gonna be okay.

Twilight: I know. I’m not worried. (Realises) I’m not worried! It worked!

Duke: Good job Twilight. Let's report to the others that...

(One set of doors flies open as Ms. P gallops into the stadium. What remains of the Ponyville/Sodor party stays out behind her.)

Ms. P: (shuddery) Oh! I’m outside!

(She knocks some jumpers down.)

Ms. P: Feels so good to stretch the old legs!

Shining: Uh…what the—?

Duke: What in the name of his grace is happening here?!

Peter Sam: Uh... Well Granpuff... Let's just say Rainbow wasn't the best tour guide either.

Rainbow: (chuckling nervously) Uh, turns out the Crystal Castle doesn’t have a gymnasium.

Shining: (looking ahead) Watch it!

(The whooping mare’s overexcited jump clears a hurdle, but also takes out two athletes.)

Skarloey: Come on Rheanes, we'd better help them.

Rheanes: Right behind you!

(They go to help the athletes.)

Shining: Make her…stop!

Rainbow: Wait! (She lands next to him.) That’s the Games inspector! Let her do her thing.

Duncan: Dash, I don't think that's the games inspector.

Ms. P: Good! Oh, these hooves! I’m outside!

Shining: Why would she do that?

Rainbow: I have no idea. But…that’s why she’s in charge of choosing who gets the Games and we’re not. Heh.

Peter Sam: Um... Guys...

(A potted plant goes flying off one stile’s end post, its contents falling out so that the empty vessel lands upside down on her head. Ms. P skids to a stop with a shriek.)

Ms. P: (slightly muffled) Oh! Get me outside for a run! (She races off.)

Shining: Look out!

(Cut to one set of exit doors as she barrels straight through, reducing them to splinters.)

Rainbow: Yeah, okay. We need to stop her. Duncan, Peter Sam, Song Cue, Fluttershy, let's fly!

(The 5 pegasus ponies took off.)

Fluttershy: Where’s she going in such a hurry?

Peter Sam: No idea! But I think she is going to leave the empire if she isn't careful.

(Rainbow dives, closing the gap, as they enter the outskirts.)

Rainbow: Closer…closer…I think we’ve got her!

(She gets both forelegs clamped onto the pot and gives it a solid yank, pulling it free as the fugitive stops dead. Momentum is not on Rainbow’s side, though, and she describes a long, graceless arc as her yell fades into the distance. In the spa Rarity and Sir Handel are back on the job. The part of Cadence’s mane has been carefully coiffed and set with a blue-green heart jewel to match her cutie mark, and Rarity and Sir Handel are working on Cadence's mane. Up above, the equine projectile smacks spreadeagle into the translucent ceiling and slides slowly down toward the edge. The squeaking of hide against crystal distracts the unicorn momentarily; she looks around herself but does not notice Rainbow, but Sir Handel does.)

Sir Handel: Rarity, did you see something?

Rarity: No darling, not that I know of, why?

Sir Handel: Um... Never mind.

(Outside)

Ms. P: Hoo-wee! Oh ,that felt good! (Fluttershy and the other pegasus ponies lands next to her.) Nothin’ like a great run to shake the cobwebs off these old bones! Hey there, Speedy. (Gasp) Oh, these wide open spaces y’all got here remind me of home. This is great!

Rainbow: (out of breath) Oh…so you’re…enjoying your visit!…Oh, I’m so…glad!

Ms. P: Oh, good golly, yes. I just love to travel and see new places. Such a beautiful spot you got here, too!

(The earth ponies and unicorns have finally caught up.)

Shining: Why, thank you so much. I’m Shining Armor.

Ms. P: Oh…the Prince!

Twilight: (to Rainbow) What’s going on?

Rainbow: From the looks of it, just locking up the Games for the Crystal Empire, is all. (Chuckle) Ain’t no thing.

Ms. P: (shuddery) My, oh, my. I never met a prince before.

Shining: (Chuckles) I’m surprised. I’d think in your line of work, you’d meet princes all the time.

Ms. P: (toying with her mane) Hardly. Just an ordinary wild mustang from Mustangia here to enjoy a little vay-cay. Never thought I’d also be meetin’ royalty to boot.

Duke: Ok, that was definitely... Odd. Um... Did we forget to tell her our names or something?

Fluttershy: Now that you mention it, I think we did, Duke.

Ms. P: Oh! I didn't know you were a Duke too. What a surprise. (Giggles)

Duke: Um... (Whispers) Someone make sure Duchess never finds out about this.

Shining: (Whispers) And same with Cadence, please.

Others: You have our word.

Twilight: (hesitantly, with growing fear) You…are Ms. Harshwhinny, the Equestria Games inspector, aren’t you?

Ms. P: Inspector what, now?

Rainbow: We got the wrong pony?!?!?

Pinkie: (anguished) NOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean… YEEEEESSSSS!!

(Try as she might, Twilight finds Cadence’s breathing exercise to be of no help in taming the raging case of nerves that has just seized her. Snap to black.)